Christians are always taught to not yolk with unbelievers? don't get married with non-christians etc. Because the different religious views would definitely cause conflicts in the future.
However, I'm very glad and really thank God that Wen-Jun accepted Christ. And i can see that he is growing in Christ. Once, long time ago, when we're just together.. he told me before that he hope that his family will turn to God one day.
When he told me this, i can only tell him. We'll pray about it. see, i've never really evangelize before. I only do it once or twice to evangelize during trainings coz i'm pushed by people. I never automatically talk to my friends about God's love except when my friends ask me about it. my only way was to invite them to church and pray.
When Jun told me his wishes. I can only pray about it. I don't know how i'm suppose to bring them to Christ. I never even try inviting them to church before. For Jun to invite them is already quite difficult. the father is quite a strong buddhist (followed paternal grandfather) and the mother follow the father (though she is exposed coz she was in catholic school last time), but due to the mother's health, it will be hard for her to sit for hours to concentrate. and one thing, now she is going to a dialysis centre organized by buddhist orgranization. coz it's cheap. i really don't know how to evangelize to them
Jun's grandmother passed away. Well, i actually met her 3 times so far. 1st - when they come to KL last year during June? , 2nd - when i go Malacca during Dec (i know she is severely ill, coz she was so skinny), and 3rd when they come down to KL after christmas (i already know she is at 4th stage cancer)You know, looking at how she lost weight and all the suffering she is in. I can't help but to feel heartbroken. I kept silent and pray. And praying is all i do.
Now that she passed away. It's hard for me to find words to comfort Jun. I can say anything i want. - stand firm in God, God is with you.
but i cannot tell him... "Don't worry, she is in safe hands of God's"
I cannot i cannot.. coz i know she is not . =( I feel for once, the feeling of pain. The pain where you don't know where your love one is going after they passed away. (actually, it's heaven or hell. if it's not heaven, it must be hell... but i guess i rather choose to believe that she have no where to go.coz i cannot accept the fact. )
even simplest things i say... "condolences" , "sorry to hear" make me feel like a total hypocrite because i didn't do my part.
i feel really regret that i didn't evangelize to her.
i told Jun after comforting him... that i regret about this. He said he was thinking about this whole morning too. Coz he has been praying.. but he never evangelized. But he says it's not my fault etc... but im really putting it on myself.
i know i should have done something other than praying. i know i should have at least try to evangelize.
i now truly know the importance to evangelize.
maybe i can use everyday's busyness to kill this pain, maybe when i chat and laugh it will cure.... but im quite sure that this regret is forever.
you know, i must go evangelize. i only prayed. i only invite. but i know i need to do more. but i've got no courage. and i procastinate. i know the importance. but i don't know how to do it.
that's why i need some help. coz i don't want to live regretting like this. i must at least try.
and for all Christians who are reading this, no matter who in ur live. i'm quite sure we live to show God's love. and we should do it, before we regret.. esp our love ones.
past cannot be change, but i will prayed for courage and really need to put away everything that worries and try to change the future. because i know what i should have at least done.
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